When McDonalds announced that they would test Cold Brew Coffee just down the street from my house I was stoked. For many years there has been a joke in my family that I kept at least two of our local McDonalds in Business. I drank so much Diet Coke that when my truck pulled up the large diet coke was on the counter. No waiting in line. I would just leave $2 cash on the counter and leave.
Then along came the app, I could order on my phone and pay without leaving cash. It was a great idea until it became personal. McNealy famously said “privacy is dead” in the 1980’s, but I still protect mine like its family. I stopped using the app because Mickey D was asking too many questions. I get it, I am a dinosaur in a world were kids drop their pants and bear just about everything for TikTok dares.
One day I thought my appendix burst. It turned out the pain was a cyst on my kidney. No one knew the cause but my Doctor advised me to drink coffee and stop drinking Diet Coke. I tried it and I am clearly not adult enough for coffee. The bitter taste just wasn’t my thing and I didn’t want to spend half a day adding sugar, cream and who knows what else to try and hide the bitterness.
Along comes Cold Brew Coffee
Another friend who is also a doctor recommended I try cold brew. It turns out that coffee has a lot of health benefits when consumed in moderation. Sadly moderation isn’t normally my style but I thought I would give cold brew coffee a try. It wasn’t the refresher/pick me up like Diet Coke, but I could drink it with enough ice and it sort of got the job done.
Making it at home was pretty easy with the Takeya cold brew pitcher. Finding a company right here at the beach with a great cold are maker was pretty cool. After a bit of testing I found the Trader Joes organic fair trade coffee with a splash of Orgain Chocolate protein drink to be my morning beverage of choice. The problem was my wife started drinking it and didn’t learn how to make it. A couple of early morning work calls and I needed a new option. Along comes McDonalds.
Easy Peasy Cold Brew?
Turning off Pacific Coast Highway for a couple of blocks, to hit McDonalds for a cold brew coffee was so easy I began to flash back to my Diet Coke days. Knowing that McDonalds had bags of coffee grounds for my composter, I went inside to order my first cold brew. It was out the window before I hit the street light.
The McDonalds cold brew tasted like iced coffee and espresso. I know this because Starbucks in New York ran out of cold brew and served that to me as a replacement. It was bitter and nasty just like hot coffee and iced coffee. Everyone I see with that concoction has filled it with nothing but bad calories. Not the way I want my caffeine delivery liquid to be. Zero calories is perfect. Thankfully Starbucks bottles cold brew so on the road I know what I am getting.
A week later I gave McDonalds another chance. I don’t know if they use warm water to speed the brewing, super cheap coffee beans or something else, but it was still the same bitter swill. Maybe Starbucks will sell me a keg of their tap cold brew and I can get a kegerator at home? Starbucks is as close to home-brew as I have found so far. The best thought is a little boathouse coffee shop on the river in Austin Texas just behind the Four Seasons. It used to be called Alta’s, now it is “Perch”? If someone could please give me an update that would be great. Until then it’s back to home brew, sorry McDonalds.